WHAT SHOULD I DO HARRY

I really love you… but things getting more and more complicated. One day you said you love me… and wants to marry me… and the other day you disappear… no news, no sms nor email. And when i got the feeling left alone.. i started to think to end this up. And when the feeling to tell you WE ARE FINISH… you shown up again.. showing like you are the number 1 prince charming.. and i am the luckiest girl in the world.
I AM TIRED..
I DONT WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE…
I GET SICK AND TIRED TO UPSET AND ANGRY TO MYSELF..
cos why i let you doing this to me.
I Can find a better man out there.. who treat me respectfully and for sure… not playing with me like this.

~Sally

I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU

I hate this feeling..
Feeling that i am always be the last person to know things about you..
Who am I? Why i am always be the last one on your list to be informed about anything?
Distance is not the issue here. If you are willing.. there is no such excuses.

I am not a whinny person. I am not asking to be taking care of all the time.
I am not complaining as i told you… i try my best to understand you…
But why you keep me hanging on the line…
Why i am the one who keep sms you and reminding you that i am here and love you.
Why can’t you just show me a little bit that you care..

I am not in the position to taking care of you at the moment.
I have not much money left to keep phoning you or sms you.
I am using my last money to keep you informed so you know that i care about you.
Why is it so difficult for you to understand this.
Why i have to wait all night long for a single sms… just to make sure that you are OK and you don’t bother at all to reply?
Who is needing help? Me or you? If you seeking for help and somebody come and offer a help
at least a shoulder to cry on… why you keep this person waiting all night long ?
DO YOU THINK THAT NICE?

Harry.. harry… what else should I do..

If you want to have a woman to be treated like this… then find one!!!! That person definitely not me.

I am giving you everything.. anything to show you that i love you so SINCERE that doesn’t matter who you are, what your problems are..but it seems like you  always say.. I AM TOO GOOD FOR YOU..

Maybe you will love person who likes to kick your ass or keep hurting you more…..

I dont know… I am speechless.

~ Sally…

GOOD news from my best friend

I checked my email today and there’s one email from my best friend, AS. She informed me that her new novel has been released and wrote me the summary of this novel. Pop teenagers kind of and from the synopsis i can see that the story is interesting as usual. This is her 5th novel  in this genre if i am not mistaken since  she also wrote different kinds of books and i am not fully aware what are they cos she is only updating me about this one. 

Well… good job my friend, i wish all the best for you and i hope the coming year will be the fruitfull and rewarding year for your writing career. I always pray and wish for your success and you know i am always here to support you. 

As we promised together 10 years back then…. “Keep fight till the end”

 

Your days will come my friend, i can promise you that.

See you there

 

- sally

You are the biggest mystery ever!!!

Now.. it seems everything changed.. I dont know you…

I cannot predict you.. 

I cannot understand your way of thinking..

You are becoming far away from me.. i can’t reach you.

It’s like a huge wall separate your world and mine..

How can we get together if the situation is like this..

and the worst thing, Harry… i dont see that you tried to reach me back.

I am drowning and you let me .. 

You even push me further down… with your act… with your ignorance…

I am very patience with you…

I give all my time and love and effort to show you that i love you…

but how can you do that to me?

Have you ever thought for a second about my feeling?

Have you tried even once to stand in my shoe?

YOU ARE CRAZY… YOU ARE MEAN

I thought loving you is so easy… i am so sincere … and i do care… but why you always challange me?

Why there still another figures shadowing our path? Why you let this ruin us?

If someone asking me have you ever met an UNGRATEFUL MAN i can responde in a second.. YES I HAVE.

 

You are wrong if you think i am that NAIVE and INNOCENT

I know you will never change.. you will always do that.. there will always someone else..

YOU NEVER FEEL ENOUGH… you are greedy.

 

~Sally (finally see the silver lining beyond the cloud)

 

I Lost You

Nights passed, and I feel so low,
I count the hours, but they go so slow.
I know the sound of your voice, it can save my soul.

City lights  and the streets are gold
Looked down my window to the world below
Everything move so fast, but it feels so cold
And I am all alone,
Don’t let me die, I’m losing my mind,
Baby just give me a sign that you understand me…

I can’t sleep, I’m up all night.
Through these tears, I try to smile.
I know, the touch of your hand, It can save my life.
But you let me down, I can’t come to you
but I got to be with you some how.

And now I feel that you’re gone…
I’ve lost you in the middle of this chaos
I just wanna be with you but I can’t …
You drain all sanity in me… you awaken all feelings I never thought I had…
Envy… Jealousy… hatred… scared… angry… feel betrayed… feel wasted… feel unwanted…
And the worst …. feel sorry for myself
You awaken all bad feelings that could kill me easily
Only GOD is my shield.. to him I surrender myself.

I have to go for a reason…
be together weaken each of us…
For your happiness….
And the most important for my happiness…
but somehow I can’t go on.. you will see me around

I love you so much…
Whatever happened between us… you are still in my heart….
As per your words… “the box will never close”
I am always with you…
Here and there… I am always pray for your happiness…
Yours forever

Sally~dated: 4 November 2008

I LOVE YOU

LOVE is a journey with no END

 LOVE YOU is a journey involve thousands cells of my being

I YOU SO MUCH BABY `

~ Sally

HARY OH HARY… What is wrong with you?

 

Harry……

I dont know what else to say… 

You confusing me… sometimes you are so nice, sometimes you keep a distance from me, sometimes you ignore me, sometimes you make me cry. I really  dont understand.

In one time you said sweet things and  in the next moment … you disappear…  What do you want exactly?

I really dont want to consume all your time… i want to give you freedom, space… but please help me also.. make me feel secure with you. I feel like i know you.. but sometimes i can’t read you at all……….

We are going to marry… hmmmmm <sigh>

~Sally

LONG TIME NO SEE

 

Sorry………. Just have a chance to write you again. I was totally busy these three weeks. I visited my home in several places and had no time even to catch my breath hehehe.

So far everything is OK. I got permission from my mother to go to Gerro. My motorcycle issues solved, my ticket to Gerro is OK, my visa is granted and my work so far is fine. My replacement is in board already. I just need to spend some time to hand over my work. Not really a big thing.

The hard part now is to packing my stuff .. and move it to “i dont know yet” while packing my stuff for Gerro… phuh… 20 kg.. is really killing me. Cos i have lot’s of things i want to bring with me.

Now the hardest part…. struggling with myself …these question keep coming like.. Am i doing the right thing? Is this what i want in live while there’s so much i can achieve? Is he the right guy? I am sure he is the one for me.. but why this question is keep coming? Is it some kind of warning from my subconscious?

Well I dont know the answer… i pray and i clean my heart to go to Gerro… I need to go there.. to fine the answers… whatever it will be then…. let see

So weird i dont get nervous at all…. am i in some kind of denial?

Weird… I just feel like i am going to some familiar place where there’s nothing to worry.

 

 

~Sally – in “between” state

Welcome my dearest little buddie….

Announcement….

Announcement…

I am an auntie now… my first nephew was born on 21 July. Incredible.. My little brother has become a father.. HE HAS A SON.. omg… time flies so fast. I still remember clearly when he is still at the elementary school and i was taking him to the school everyday…

I still remember the day he went to the university… and how proud i am of him.

~ Sally Happy mode <ON>

I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I miss you …

I miss you…

I miss you…

I miss you…